I am a red-blooded male.

Quite often, I begin to write a blog entry at work whilst peering out the window admiring the sunshine and wondering why the sun never comes out when I'm out of the office. I quickly realise the answer: I'm never out of the office. Anyhow, I have four, five, maybe even six blog posts that are half-written that I've looked at at a later date and thought they were either overly creepy, depressing or downright whiney. I'm always cautious about coming across as a whiney git on here, not that I have anything to prove to my followers, but because the bottom line is that I am a red-blooded male in my early twenties who should not be writing a blog. We just don't. Blogs are for girls, right? They're the diary of the 21st Century and guys don't keep diaries.

Sometimes, when you get caught in a moment, at that point you're overflowing with emotion, be it anger, stress, confusion, infatuation. That tends to be when I start writing in this blog. And then a day later when I come back to the post, I find my circumstances have changed. Maybe I've just had a Caramac and it's completely taken care of that stress, or maybe I've just had a lovely date with Grace and I don't feel like having a rant about her anymore. Perhaps it's just better to post when you write it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I'm not sure when you look back on it you can always truly remember how you feel.

Except heartbreak, of course. You won't forget that bitch in a long time.

So Grace should be off to Canterbury in September for University. She's concerned about moving away, leaving home, having to fend for herself etc, so naturally being the model boyfriend that I am I'm there to comfort her and tell her that she will be fine, when in reality, she can't even work out how to load my dishwasher. But this made me think about when I left for University all those 6 years ago. I tried to remember how I felt at the time.

Was I nervous? Not that I remember. Excited? I don't think I've ever been more excited.

I can't believe that at 18 years old, I was perfectly capable of travelling all the way up the country and living in a big City such as Liverpool all on my own, not knowing a single person that would be there. Not only that, but I was capable of meeting new friends, going grocery shopping, budgeting and finding the balance between study and cider. I did it and I did it all by myself.

It made me realise that every time I have made a huge decision in life, I have come out of it better off. Going to University, leaving University for a girl I barely knew, moving out, getting this job, buying Ellie (my car).

So there's this scene in The Dark Knight Rises...

 *SPOILER ALERT * 

...when Batman is banished to a pit, and he has to try and climb out of it, of which nobody has managed except Bane. The kicker was that by doing it without the rope, he was scared. He HAD to make that jump, he had no other choice. And he fucking made it. 

*END OF SPOILERS*

When I've been forced to do something, or when I've absolutely just HAD to make it, I have. Just like Batman. I could be Batman. Maybe I am Batman. 

Batman.

I can't help but feel like there's a big step in my life coming up. I've been sitting pretty for a good few years now and I can feel something needs to change.

---

So since I've had the car, I find myself going on long drives. Just listening to Jack's or Lights, cruising. Sometimes I feel like I could just drive all night. Just drive and not stop, do you ever do that? One of my ultimate goals in life is to drive across the US, from East to West, and just stop off every four or five hours in a different town for a beer and a bite to eat. I can imagine that would be such an amazing experience. 

I finish with some snaps from before Grace's prom. Fun night out, that was. 

Hope you're all well! 

Until next time... 

x

She's just a little bit too tasty.

I always remember reading this article on Digg a while back about the most annoying topics of conversation you can have with someone. The one that always sticks is dreams, and it's true. I hate hearing about other people's dreams. I guess you can never see them the way that person saw them, and ultimately, it's a completely pointless topic of conversation. IT'S NOT REAL. Sean (my housemate) is the worst. Every dream he ever haves involves three things:

- Sarah,
- Outer Space or Zombies,
- Blowing shit up.

Sean, if you are somehow secretly reading this blog (which you're not because I know not even you would be able to find it) please please please stop telling me about your dreams. I. just. don't. care.

Anyhow, I promise I'm going somewhere with this. So despite nobody apparently giving a flying fuck about other people's dreams, I am going to tell you all about mine. Last night I had the best dream since, like, forever. Sure, there was the one where I had the Gameboy Colour that was also a time-machine. That was pretty banging. But this one was seriously messed-up. Here's what I wrote down:


Met a girl at an immigration facility up on the Great Lines (fields near the house). 
She worked there.
I tried haggling with her over the cost of my new passport. 
Got it for £3.25 instead of £3.30.
The banter was unparalleled. 


We went to lunch. Just walked along the fields, laughing. She was from Gillingham. 
Why hadn't I ever seen her?


She was quite short, maybe 5ft 5. Size 12. Longish curly blonde hair, cute little scrunched up face.
Big cheesy grin. 
Almost like a friendlier, slightly chubbier Taylor Momsen. 


We were wearing the same t-shirt. Both burgundy. 
Both had wristbands.
I gave her one of mine, she gave me a beige hairband in return. It was adorable.


And that's what I've got. I met the most amazing girl and spent the most amazing lunch break with her. She was my subconscious version of my perfect girl, and words cannot describe how absolutely gutted I was when I woke up. How sad is that, right? We've all had dreams of winning the lottery and then waking up and feeling glum, but how many people have fallen in love with the most beautiful, perfect person in the world? It was a first for me.

Odd start to the day. So anyway, work was a drag. The highlight of my day? Emily coming over for the second day running. She's just a little bit too tasty. I just need to resist temptation and remember that all girls are blood-sucking, vindicative, moody and soulless bitches.

So this girl in my dream was perfect. What's my idea of a perfect girl? Let's brainstorm:

1. She has to be shorter than me. Tall girls are intimidating. 
2. She should have some sort of interesting hobby, such as painting, photography or playing the violin. Drinking Jagerbombs doesn't count as a hobby. 
3. She should come out with occassional hilarious ditzy comments, but not so ditzy that you start to wonder if she is an actual moron. She should be intelligent, but not too intelligent.  
4. She must have a friendly face and great hair. 
5. She should be popular, but not too popular. I don't want us to be the metaphorical prom King and Queen. 
6. She should have absolutely no problem stuffing her face with a Big Mac from time to time. 
7. She must like one of the following: The OC, Jack's Mannequin, Liverpool FC or Man vs Food.
8. She has to understand that Sunday afternoons are reserved for football unless a roast dinner event is scheduled. In that case, I am perfectly entitled to check the scores on my mobile. 
9. She should have absolutely no problem singing Karaoke. 
10. She must wear white french knickers. Always. 

Send your applications in a stamped, addressed envelope to...

Optimism

It struck me today that my blog posts are never particularly positive. I wouldn't say they are overly negative, but I guess when things are going well, you don't have time to write about them. When things are not going so well, you feel like you could write for England.

I've always been a very positive person. People always see me as an optimist; they expect me to always walk into the office with a smile on my face and a tune in head. And I do. I've always got time for people and the glass is nearly always half full. So time for an overly positive post. I'm feeling good today. No. I'm feeling GREAT today. Lists are good.


Reasons Why I'm Chuffed

1. I just watched Cops. Hilarious.
2. In a year's time, I'll be leaving for Thailand. Beautiful, beautiful Thailand.
3. Liverpool BATTERED Fulham last night. Rampant. King Kenny makes me chuffed. 
4. I DEFINITELY have some serious cravings for some Ella. 
5. I DEFINITELY DO NOT have some serious cravings for some Annie. 
6. I am eating like a trojan horse, and I am gaining. Awesome.
7. 4 weeks until Magaluf. 4 weeks until glorious sunshine, great cocktails and gorgeous women. 
8. Aaron is back home and safe from Afghanistan. YES.
9. New season of One Tree Hill should be starting on E4 in the new few weeks.
10. I remembered I love Autumn Reeser.
11. I discovered Susan Coffey. 
12. I fell in love with Susan Coffey.
13. I realised that there are other people out there with unhealthy obsessions with One Tree Hill and The OC. 
14. I discovered All American Rejects - Another Heart Calls. And it makes me smile every time I hear it. 
15. And finally, I'm chuffed because life is fucking beautiful.

After my workout, I stood and looked out the loft window. The sun was setting and the skies were clear as anything, and it just made me realise that life is amazing. It was a kind of 'American Beauty' moment in essence; I realised how amazingly beautiful the world was and how lucky we all are to be living right here, right now, and to have health and happiness. Totally bloody cliche, I know. The point is, I love my life. Sure, alot of the time I'm ranting, but that's because I want my life to be even better, and I want to try and plug every single little gap in my life (Michael Scott - "That's what she said"). That's not to say I don't have a fantastic life right now.

I'm just greedy ;)

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Day 6: A Picture of Something That Makes You Happy

Oh that's easy. Seeing this ALWAYS makes me happy...

Liverpool 3 - 1 Manchester United

Fantastic performance, great result. Whenever we play well and we get a result like this, particularly against United, I am on Cloud 9.

Other notable mentions include The OC, Charlie Sheen, Spinach and Ricotta Tortelloni with Mushroom Sauce and my bamboo tiki torches in my bedroom. Simple man, simple pleasures.

#Winner.


Luke

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

Right, here goes.

Introduce.

Hi! I'm Luke. I live in Kent, South East England, around an hour drive from London. It's home, I guess! I briefly studied Property Management at Liverpool University, although somehow I have ended up working in Insurance. I'm a Claims Broker, but no dodgy wheeling and dealing here. I'm not a salesman, and as you can probably tell from this blog I'm not the best with words! I process Premium and Claims payments for large corporate businesses, and my dream job I guess is a Claims and Loss Adjuster. Travelling to the Gulf of Mexico, or the Bahamas to survey shipwrecks sounds bliss.

I listen to any sort of music; as far as I'm concerned if I can dance to it or sing to it then it's fine by me! My dream is to be happy, I have family in Canada so it would be fantastic living there. But recently I have been taking each day as it comes. I need to get out of Medway and see the world, although in reality it's easier said than done.

I am a romantic person. I love romance. I believe in love at first sight, I believe in true love. I've been there, I've been absolutely head over heels in love, the kind of love Bruno Mars sings about. Why else did I leave University!? I have a wonderfully huge family who I love to bits. We are all slightly dysfunctional and there are probably way too many double-entendres for your average person to digest but I guess that's what happens when you grow up watching Red Dwarf and Bottom.


Right... here's a recent photo of me. It was taken on Friday 25/02/11 when celebrating my 23rd at my friend's house in Reading. I'm not trying to look like a teenage chav with a beer in my hand, there's actually a story behind this photo. I have a list of 10 New Year's Resolutions which I am trying to follow religiously. Number 8 is to try a wider variety of alcoholic drinks (Strongbow gets stale after all these years!), so every week this year, I am trying a new alcoholic drink. That's 52 new alcoholic drinks in 52 weeks. I am not an alcoholic, I promise! Sometimes I miss a week and catch up the next, and often it is just a few beers, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy a nice cold beer after a long week in the office. This was week 10, Staropramen. Not bad actually. No Coors Light though :)

OK, 15 Interesting Facts. 'Interesting' probably should be taken with a pinch of salt.

1. I am a Liverpool Football Club supporter.
2. I have an unhealthy obsession with America. It's this magical place where the skies are always blue, everyone lives in a beach house, unicorns drink from the same water fountains as men and everyone walks around with a smile on their face and a spring in their step. 
3. My favourite TV show is The OC. Wait, no, it's One Tree Hill. Wait, no. OC....
4. I am a Wrestling fan. It's this strange pastime I can't seem to shake off. 15 years now. 
5. My favourite film is The Truman Show. It was so ahead of it's time, and even now I get goosebumps when the boat hits the wall at the end. 
6. I have the world's most unmanageable hair. I wear a beanie where possible, although I am well aware I look like a complete plonker when I do. 
7. I was born in Ballymena, Northern Ireland, but I have lived in England all my life.
8. My favourite colour is green. 
9. I love any food that isn't coconut. I love any drink that isn't Malibu. 
10. I can't use 3D glasses due to my right eye being slightly weaker than my left. This was due to an unfortunate accident involving a climbing frame and an over-confident toddler :)
11. I love music. Really love music. There's always a song to sum up exactly how you feel. In fact, there's always a Jack's Mannequin song to sum up exactly how you feel. 
12. I love Karaoke nights at the local, and my song of choice is Lonestar - Amazed. My singing isn't great, but you can't fault the effort!
13. I have a Brother in Afghanistan and I miss him dearly.
14. I live with my friend, although initially I lived in this house with my ex-fiancé. Sometimes it can be difficult living in a home that we built together. 
15. I've never travelled outside of Europe, although Cancun Spring Break is on the cards for 2012. 

If you need to know anything else, feel free to ask!

Luke