Change is inevitable...

It's getting to that ominous time now. End of Summer. The evenings are (thankfully!) getting colder and the sun is setting earlier. But most importantly, it's only a week before Grace leaves for University.

To be honest, I'm pretty petrified about the whole thing.

You see, I'm actually proper in love. This girl is brilliant. She amazes me every single day and nobody else can make me laugh or smile as hard as she does, and I feel like the luckiest man alive, as sickening as that sounds. I just really really REALLY don't want things to change. Everything is perfect how it is. It's just perfect.

You see, when I was with Annie, she changed. The last six months she changed so much both physically and in the way she acted. The truth is, things were perfect with Annie until those last six months. We were engaged, we were living together, and we were the happiest people in the world. She's pretty unrecognisable from the girl I fell for those six years ago.

It took me around 2 years to move on from her and I've now been with Gracey for almost six months. I'm scared. I'm scared she's going to fall in with the wrong crowd and she's going to change. I'd hate to look back on this in years to come as a Summer romance. Sure, it's easy to say that if we truly love each other, we will make things work, but this doesn't hide from the fact that she's moving an hour's drive away to live with six other strangers. She's going to grow up so much. I just don't want her to.

I guess you know what they say, the only thing constant in the world is change.

In other news, I haven't been drunk in months. This is officially mid-life crisis mode. I would genuinely rather get up early on a Sunday morning and hit the gym rather than go out and drink on a Saturday night. What the fuck has happened to me? Surely only a matter of time before I'm sitting in my reclining armchair sipping English Tea and watching Songs of Praise.

I need some adventure. I did buy a hilarious Cookie Monster T-shirt yesterday though. 'Me Love Music' it says. So fetch.

Quickfire.

Storage Hunters. Storage Raiders. Pawn Stars. Gold Rush. Auction Kings.

This is why God invented the TV.

I hope you're all well!

Luke
x

I just sat there and absorbed every single lyric.

I've been listening to sad songs all morning. It's not reflective of my mood, I actually find sad songs strangely uplifting. I think it's the fact that the words are generally heartfelt and relatable. I love hearing someone absolutely sing their heart out, and sometimes it's nice to belt out a power ballad and pretend you're caught in the middle of a life-changing revelation. When Adele - 21 came out, the first time I listened to it I was in my living room, I had the curtains drawn, the lights off and I was lying upside down on my sofa. I just sat there and absorbed every single lyric, every single note, that album deserves that. It's the reason 'My Immortal', 'Konstantine' and 'Swim' are three of my favourite songs to listen to. There's a time and place for bouncy pop music, but this morning, as I sit here gazing out of the tinted office windows with the shocking realisation that this is the twenty-third day I have worked in the last twenty-four, I am definitely in a musically moody phase. Which means it was an absolute delight when this song popped up on my iPod.

Actually nearly cried. Like when One Tree Hill ended.

So hopefully I'll be attending three gigs over the next couple of months. There's something about live music which just makes me grin like a Cheshire cat, I love to hear my favourite artists and be surrounded by like-minded people. Firstly, Lights is returning to London for a show at the Electric Ballroom, Camden in September, and having already seen her at the start of the year, the thought of seeing and hearing her belt out 'Banner' once again fills me with glee. Second, at the start of October I'll be going to see Aiden Grimshaw perform at Scala in London. For those who don't know who Mr Grimshaw is, he is an exceptionally talented guy who was controversially eliminated from the UK X Factor a few years back, early on in the competition despite being one of the favourites. His cover of Gary Jules' 'Mad World' is haunting and well worth checking out. Finally, I'll be returning to Scala to see Tyler Hilton, aka Chris freakin' Keller. His new album 'Forget the Storm' is a brilliant mix of country and rock and I love the guy.

But first things first, this weekend is Devon with Grace. She gets her results next week, and depending on her grades she's either going to Canterbury (40 minutes drive away) or Northampton (HOURS away). Naturally I'm praying for the former; I know she will be absolutely devastated if she has to go to Northampton. For the sake of our relationship and her sanity, she NEEDS these grades. This is the first girl I have fallen for since Annie. She's just brilliant, fun, sweet, sexy, she's everything I ever wanted in a girl, but a long-distance relationship is going to be very difficult, even for the strongest of couples. If she end up in Northampton, I know we'll do everything we can to make things work but it is going to be so so tough.

So for the next 8 days, I am going to enjoy every second I spend with her. University changes people, which unfortunately is a bitch because I don't want her to change.

Majorly craving a cigarette :/

Until next time...

Luke 

x

I am a red-blooded male.

Quite often, I begin to write a blog entry at work whilst peering out the window admiring the sunshine and wondering why the sun never comes out when I'm out of the office. I quickly realise the answer: I'm never out of the office. Anyhow, I have four, five, maybe even six blog posts that are half-written that I've looked at at a later date and thought they were either overly creepy, depressing or downright whiney. I'm always cautious about coming across as a whiney git on here, not that I have anything to prove to my followers, but because the bottom line is that I am a red-blooded male in my early twenties who should not be writing a blog. We just don't. Blogs are for girls, right? They're the diary of the 21st Century and guys don't keep diaries.

Sometimes, when you get caught in a moment, at that point you're overflowing with emotion, be it anger, stress, confusion, infatuation. That tends to be when I start writing in this blog. And then a day later when I come back to the post, I find my circumstances have changed. Maybe I've just had a Caramac and it's completely taken care of that stress, or maybe I've just had a lovely date with Grace and I don't feel like having a rant about her anymore. Perhaps it's just better to post when you write it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I'm not sure when you look back on it you can always truly remember how you feel.

Except heartbreak, of course. You won't forget that bitch in a long time.

So Grace should be off to Canterbury in September for University. She's concerned about moving away, leaving home, having to fend for herself etc, so naturally being the model boyfriend that I am I'm there to comfort her and tell her that she will be fine, when in reality, she can't even work out how to load my dishwasher. But this made me think about when I left for University all those 6 years ago. I tried to remember how I felt at the time.

Was I nervous? Not that I remember. Excited? I don't think I've ever been more excited.

I can't believe that at 18 years old, I was perfectly capable of travelling all the way up the country and living in a big City such as Liverpool all on my own, not knowing a single person that would be there. Not only that, but I was capable of meeting new friends, going grocery shopping, budgeting and finding the balance between study and cider. I did it and I did it all by myself.

It made me realise that every time I have made a huge decision in life, I have come out of it better off. Going to University, leaving University for a girl I barely knew, moving out, getting this job, buying Ellie (my car).

So there's this scene in The Dark Knight Rises...

 *SPOILER ALERT * 

...when Batman is banished to a pit, and he has to try and climb out of it, of which nobody has managed except Bane. The kicker was that by doing it without the rope, he was scared. He HAD to make that jump, he had no other choice. And he fucking made it. 

*END OF SPOILERS*

When I've been forced to do something, or when I've absolutely just HAD to make it, I have. Just like Batman. I could be Batman. Maybe I am Batman. 

Batman.

I can't help but feel like there's a big step in my life coming up. I've been sitting pretty for a good few years now and I can feel something needs to change.

---

So since I've had the car, I find myself going on long drives. Just listening to Jack's or Lights, cruising. Sometimes I feel like I could just drive all night. Just drive and not stop, do you ever do that? One of my ultimate goals in life is to drive across the US, from East to West, and just stop off every four or five hours in a different town for a beer and a bite to eat. I can imagine that would be such an amazing experience. 

I finish with some snaps from before Grace's prom. Fun night out, that was. 

Hope you're all well! 

Until next time... 

x

Time is moving far too quickly.

Since the holiday, all I've felt like doing is driving. Now I have my car, I tend to look for any opportunity to go for a drive. I love it. I love winding down the windows, driving as the sun is setting and playing Jack's Mannequin obnoxiously loud, as if to tell the passer-bys "Yes, this is proper music!". I'm spending so little time at the house these days, it barely feels like home. It almost feels like a graveyard. A metaphorical carcass that was Luke and Annie. Despite repainting, redecorating, rearranging and refurbishing, I still walk around and remember the past. From the shocking red paint on the archway leading to the kitchen, to the Welsh dresser, to the horrible brown bookcase which you used to keep in your bedroom, it's all memories. At times, it feels like I'm walking around plane wreckage, it's amazing how the place has fallen apart. Some say you never truly get over your first love. I don't believe that. But I do believe you'll never truly forget those feelings or those memories, however hard you try. 

So I woke up today feeling downright miserable. Empty. And I can't work out why. This feeling of melancholy has been getting stronger each day since the holiday. On paper, I have everything I could ever want: A good job, a nice car, money in the bank and a beautiful girlfriend. My anxiety has been alot better recently and, although still on the Propranolol, I feel like I'm learning to live with this. Those little flutters I get from time to time scare me less as each day goes by. So what's missing?

 

As much as it pains me to say it, as I'm genuinely a very positive and upbeat person, I can't help but feel that there's got to be more to life than what I'm doing right now. I've been living in the same town more or less all my life, and at 24 years of age now, I almost feel like it's 'do or die' time. Of course, last year and the start of this year was all about travelling. It was this insatiable urge to get out and go somewhere, live somewhere else, travel and see the world. This globe is so stupidly huge, it would be foolish for one to be limited to just a small town. 

 

Of course, now I've met Grace, we've been together for three months and things are fantastic. She's everything I want in a girl and I love her to bits. She's off to University in September, and chances are she will be studying locally. This means that for the next four years, assuming things with Grace are going swimmingly, I am tied down to Kent. This scares me. The thought of staying in Kent until I am 28. I don't see a time when I'm ever going to be able to see the world with Grace; it's not particularly high on her 'to-do' list and I wouldn't want to drag her away from her career anyway.

The truth is, at 24 years old, I feel like my time to be young and foolish is quickly running out. Pretty soon, I'm not going to be able to make big decisions and big mistakes because they will surely be too costly, what with a mortgage, family, career etc. What I want, what I REALLY want, is to get out of the UK. I've always wanted this, but having spent my savings on a holiday, a car and the year's insurance, I am starting from scratch. It's going to take me a year or more to save enough money to get away.

 

And I think that's why I'm feeling miserable. Once upon a time, a girl was enough to make me happy. Now, I need more. I need direction, I need excitement, I need adventure. Time is moving far too quickly. 

So I'm driving home from the gym this evening listening to The Glass Passenger, and I had the CD playing that came alongside the vinyl version of the album. So I'm cruising along and all of a sudden this song comes on I haven't heard before. Turns out there's a BONUS TRACK called 'Miss California'! You should have seen how excited I was. I was listening to it and grinning like a Cheshire cat, and all of a sudden everything in  my life was perfect. The sun was shining, the hair was looking good, the roads were clear and I was listening to brand new Jack's Mannequin. Electric. 

I'm toying with getting a tattoo soon. I'd love to get something 'Swim' related, as it is probably my favourite song of all time, the inspiration for my Blog title and some of the most beautiful lyrics you'll ever hear. Then I happened to tumble across this (pun totally intended):

http://fuckyeahjmsocotattoos.tumblr.com/

So much inspiration. I definitely want to get the asterisk somewhere, and possibly something 11:11 related. Below are a few of my favourites. Would love to know what you guys think, and if you have any tattoos. 

I hope you're all well. 

Luke

x

HOT. PINK.

I've recently started using Pinterest. I do realise that 95% of users are teenage girls posting photos of Ryan Gosling, however I've found it to be quite the time-waster. I find most evenings I'm trawling through masses of photos looking for something that I can relate to, or something that genuinely makes me lose my shit. Such as this:

Anyhow, I figured this probably wasn't the best use of my time. Between work, gym and Xbox, I have very little time to put my feet up and right now, that precious time is spent wasted. I could be Blogging I guess. 

Remember Myspace? Boy did that really die. But a few weeks back I logged onto mine. God knows how I remembered my password. It was strange going through all of the old messages on there, seeing my old profile and just generally taking a trip back down memory lane. Having your top 8 friends was a big deal, people used to actually hold grudges if they didn't make the lineup. And then there were messages like this:

i kno u wnt be up yet

but i am so tuff

onli jus gt out da showa gt loadsa shit 2 do bt im kinda hungry

wots healthy for breakfast??

porridge?

porridge!

shit we aint gt none

ar well i wudda added like 435886 spoons of sugar

im stil tired i duno hw tho :S

i reli do fink its down ta wot im eatin

i KNOW u wont be up ny time soon

cos ur a lazy bum

i bet ur snorin

or like........

humpin a pillow or summit

wish me luck in my test!!

i doubt ur'l be up b4 i leave

so bi bi love u lotsie

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jan 17th, 2007.

You know it's funny, if I ever received a message like that from a girl now, I would never reply. Unless the message is written in the Queen's English, I am not interested. What's worse is that I was almost as bad! If I ever met 17-year old Luke, I would punch him in the face and teach him how to use full stops

Facebook Timeline really made me realise how much of a complete illiterate douche I was back then. Funny how much things change in 5 years. It makes me cringe re-reading those old statuses. 

So I'm back on the old Blog. Here's the current state of play:

I now have a girlfriend. Her name is Grace, she is 18, she has big beautiful eyes and a lovely smile. She is also pretty intense. We've been together just over a month.

I don't know if I can feel the same feelings I felt with Annie again. I was young and stupid then and I just let myself go. I had nothing else, she was my world, and we were inseperable. At 24, with a full-time job, gym five days a week, plenty of football to watch and plenty of alcohol to drink, I don't think I'll ever have that amount of time and energy again. It's difficult to remember what those feelings were like back then, and it's probably unfair to compare a new relationship to an old one; we all know every relationship is different. I'm just not sure how I should feel right about now, one month into this. Nowhere near dishing out the 'L' word, nowhere near. But she would say it tomorrow if she knew I'd return with the same thing. 

Regardless, she's a lovely girl and she really cares for me, so we shall see. Perhaps I'm overly cynical.

I've quit smoking again. It's been one week today, and one of the reasons I'm blogging this evening is because I genuinely feel like killing somebody. 

I'm going to see Train next week in London. So needless to say I was abit gutted when I heard 'California 37' for the first time. It's no 'Save Me San Francisco', is it? Let's hope it's a grower. 

I am going on holiday to Magaluf in less than two months. In traditional fashion (no pun intended), I've bought an entire new wardrobe for a week long holiday. Had I known I was going to be in a relationship, I probably wouldn't have booked this holiday. Magaluf is not the place you want to go when you're tied up. It is a hotbed of hedonism. I'd never cheat. I'm 92% sure of that. But this is a test. 

Travelling plans are on hold at the moment due to the new girlfriend and just genuinely being unable to stop buying clothes. Seriously, I bought a pair of hot pink chino shorts on Saturday. HOT. PINK. 

I can't decide whether Tangled is a better film than Wall-E. Discuss. 

So anyway, I figured I'd turn to here as I've been pretty down over the last couple of days and I can't fathom out why. Perhaps it's Grace, perhaps it's the smoking, perhaps it's because I've been playing Silent Hill 2 again. Iono. I had hoped this would help, but alas I shall resort to the tried and tested formula of Ben and Jerry's and The Big Bang Theory. 

Tell me how you all are. I feel like I have so much to catch up on, so share with me all your life-changing revelations and make me feel like my problems are pathetic. No seriously, because they probably are. 

A song!!

Luke

x

There is absolutely zero chance you'll be getting breakfast or special cuddles in the morning.

Wednesday morning. I wake up feeling pretty rough. Then my hair doesn't go (yes, I'm a tart). Then I walk to work in the snow, in the freezing cold gale-force winds. Then I find that my new slim-fit office shirt is so slim-fit in fact that I cannot roll the sleeves up properly without cutting off the circulation to my forearm. Fuck. I'm gangster, I always roll my sleeves up. That's how I roll (get it!?).

 

So not the best start to my Wednesday. Or Wank Wednesday as I like to call it. No, not like that. It's named as such because it is officially the shittest day of the week. Nothing happens on a Wednesday. Nothing. There's not even any decent TV!

 

Monday - WWE Raw, One Tree Hill

Tuesday - Geordie Shore

Wednesday - ???

Thursday - Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents.

Friday - New Girl, Ice Road Truckers, WWE Smackdown.

Saturday - Match of the Day, Take Me Out.

Sunday - Whichever kids film Channel 4 decide to show.

 

I'm typically hanging out of my ass on Sunday so I'm easily amused.

 

And right on topic, let's talk about Saturday night. So there's this girl who I met a few weeks ago in a club. I took her home but didn't sleep with her. To be honest, she's too tall and she's not, how can I put it.. she's not aesthetically gifted. Anyhow, since that night, she has been on my case, ringing and texting constantly even when I don't reply. Debbie Desperate as we like to call them. In the end I told her to basically do one, I wasn't at all interested and I just wanted casual sex with random chicks. I was completely blunt with her.  

 

So Saturday comes along and I bump into her in the club again. Later in the night, we're deep into Power Hour (the last hour of any night where all the girls start getting a little desperate to pull, they don't want to go home alone) and I've yet to get lucky. Bad times. In a drunken haze I turn to Stilts. I said to her, "Look, this is just sex. I am under no obligation to text you after, this is a one-off, and there is absolutely zero chance you'll be getting breakfast or special cuddles in the morning, okay?".

 

"Yeah that's fine!".

 

Boom. I woke up the next morning next to her with a horrible, horrible hangover. Casual sex - If you only want to sleep with her after 10 pints, she's probably not the girl for you.

 

...Couldn't throw her around or anything... :/

 

Annie text me yesterday. "I wish I knew how you were".

 

I'll tell you exactly how I am, bitch. I'm fucking awesome. Stay the fuck out of my life.

 

Once again, I didn't reply. I've only recently got to the stage where I don't think of her most days. It's taken nearly two years, but I often completely forget about her. I like it that way. Leave the memories alone and keep the past in the past.

 

And when she gets home, if she dare come and knock on my front door, she's getting that very door slammed in her face. She's not welcome, we are not friends, and she is a cold-hearted home-wrecking .... And I am definitely not bitter.

 

Finally, I am in love with Lights Poxleitner. She is the perfect woman. Absolutely perfect. If you don't know her, here she is in all her glory.

Much Love,
Luke

Today is going to be a good day.

It’s Saturday morning and I’m gearing up for a session of mammoth proportions tonight. To put things into perspective, I’ve worked every Saturday since JFK was shot and it is a well-known fact that my alcohol consumption of recent weeks has been well below standard. So tonight, I’m going to go out and get absolutely bloody mortal. Just as long as I can squeeze in a power nap beforehand. It’s Saturday night, let’s go and regret something.

It’s Valentine’s Day soon. In more interesting news, I just had a boiled egg.

In all seriousness, Valentine’s is a day to shower your special someone with expensive shiny things. Unfortunately, due to the restraining order, I can’t get my gifts to Aiden Grimshaw, so I’ll have to just treat myself. I could do with a new hoody (in hindsight I shouldn’t have been a cheapskate and bought the cheap imitation Harvard hoody and just plumped for a decent quality one), but knowing me, I’ll treat myself to a Double Steakhouse Angus.

And for the 5 minutes it takes me to eat that, I will be happier than any of these dozey couples.

So travelling is the flavour of the month. We’ve been quoted around £1700 for our flights, and here’s a very brief summary of the latest itinerary:

Sept 15^th: London >>> Boston

(Overland to Miami)

Oct 15^th : Miami >>> Bangkok (via Los Angeles)

(Overland to Singapore)

Dec 15^th: Singapore >>> Sydney

Then it ends. After Christmas and New Years in Sydney. I have absolutely no idea where life will take me. In an ideal world, I’ll meet a beautiful, blonde, bikini-clad Aussie and fall helplessly and hopelessly in love and live in a little beach hut in Australia for the rest of our lives. But I’d settle for a half-decent job in Oz and a good tan.

Or I could pay a cute, impressionable American chick a couple grand for a sham marriage and US Citizenship.

Of course I’m joking…

I don’t want to come back to Medway. Things might change, but right now I have nothing but my wonderfully huge family in Medway. And my Jack’s Mannequin Vinyls. Shit. But with all due respect to my family and the Mannequin, I have to find my own way and I know that Medway isn’t a place I want to grow old and senile in. 

I am absolutely buzzing for America. I’ve only ever been to Boston and I bloody loved it. I can’t wait to work my way down that east coast, staying in cheap hostels and motels and going to seedy bars. Originally the plan was to go from East to West but I just don’t think we could do it justice in that short space of time, so we’re sticking to the East, So if any of my American readers have any personal recommendations, tips, warnings, or a spare bed or couch, I’m all ears.

It’s abit gutting that it doesn’t look like we’ll be tackling the west coast. Especially since I found this little beaut.

http://www.seeing-stars.com/OC/

I even picked out a nice little hostel near Redondo Beach so I could go have Pancakes at the Pier Diner and see the Bait Shop. Absolutely gutted.

So it’s 10am, I’m in an eerily quiet office having a one-man silent rave to The Smiths, contemplating going out for my third cigarette of the day. Today is going to be a good day. For no other reason than I would like it to be a good day.

Much love,

Luke

She's just a little bit too tasty.

I always remember reading this article on Digg a while back about the most annoying topics of conversation you can have with someone. The one that always sticks is dreams, and it's true. I hate hearing about other people's dreams. I guess you can never see them the way that person saw them, and ultimately, it's a completely pointless topic of conversation. IT'S NOT REAL. Sean (my housemate) is the worst. Every dream he ever haves involves three things:

- Sarah,
- Outer Space or Zombies,
- Blowing shit up.

Sean, if you are somehow secretly reading this blog (which you're not because I know not even you would be able to find it) please please please stop telling me about your dreams. I. just. don't. care.

Anyhow, I promise I'm going somewhere with this. So despite nobody apparently giving a flying fuck about other people's dreams, I am going to tell you all about mine. Last night I had the best dream since, like, forever. Sure, there was the one where I had the Gameboy Colour that was also a time-machine. That was pretty banging. But this one was seriously messed-up. Here's what I wrote down:


Met a girl at an immigration facility up on the Great Lines (fields near the house). 
She worked there.
I tried haggling with her over the cost of my new passport. 
Got it for £3.25 instead of £3.30.
The banter was unparalleled. 


We went to lunch. Just walked along the fields, laughing. She was from Gillingham. 
Why hadn't I ever seen her?


She was quite short, maybe 5ft 5. Size 12. Longish curly blonde hair, cute little scrunched up face.
Big cheesy grin. 
Almost like a friendlier, slightly chubbier Taylor Momsen. 


We were wearing the same t-shirt. Both burgundy. 
Both had wristbands.
I gave her one of mine, she gave me a beige hairband in return. It was adorable.


And that's what I've got. I met the most amazing girl and spent the most amazing lunch break with her. She was my subconscious version of my perfect girl, and words cannot describe how absolutely gutted I was when I woke up. How sad is that, right? We've all had dreams of winning the lottery and then waking up and feeling glum, but how many people have fallen in love with the most beautiful, perfect person in the world? It was a first for me.

Odd start to the day. So anyway, work was a drag. The highlight of my day? Emily coming over for the second day running. She's just a little bit too tasty. I just need to resist temptation and remember that all girls are blood-sucking, vindicative, moody and soulless bitches.

So this girl in my dream was perfect. What's my idea of a perfect girl? Let's brainstorm:

1. She has to be shorter than me. Tall girls are intimidating. 
2. She should have some sort of interesting hobby, such as painting, photography or playing the violin. Drinking Jagerbombs doesn't count as a hobby. 
3. She should come out with occassional hilarious ditzy comments, but not so ditzy that you start to wonder if she is an actual moron. She should be intelligent, but not too intelligent.  
4. She must have a friendly face and great hair. 
5. She should be popular, but not too popular. I don't want us to be the metaphorical prom King and Queen. 
6. She should have absolutely no problem stuffing her face with a Big Mac from time to time. 
7. She must like one of the following: The OC, Jack's Mannequin, Liverpool FC or Man vs Food.
8. She has to understand that Sunday afternoons are reserved for football unless a roast dinner event is scheduled. In that case, I am perfectly entitled to check the scores on my mobile. 
9. She should have absolutely no problem singing Karaoke. 
10. She must wear white french knickers. Always. 

Send your applications in a stamped, addressed envelope to...

Some say I'm burning the candle at both ends.

So this is 2012? As I sit here in the office on a Bank Holiday Monday morning, once again up at stupid o’clock, with just one other person insane/desperate enough to work overtime today, I must say 2012 feels an awful lot like 2011.

Except this year is going to be my year. Not because I think it will be, or because I’m due a good year. No. This is going to be my year because I’m going to bloody well make it my year. I have 9 months until I leave for my travels and in those 9 months I am going to be working like a little bitch to get as much saved as possible. I'm also going to go out, party hard, dance to dubstep (despite harboring an irrational hatred towards it), get smashed, sleep with random women and wake up with some of the most disgusting hangovers known to man. Some say I'm burning the candle at both ends. To those people I say: "Fuck you". Politely, of course.

So as expected, I have a plethora of crazy, exciting ideas for my travels, and trying to fit them into one solid itinerary isn’t easy. Over the next few weeks or so, Martin and I need to decide where we want to go and in what route. I’ve ordered a giant World Map poster for my bedroom wall, and I have this great vision in my head of this poster being covered with post-its and pins and looking proper beastly, although in reality I tend to fail dismally with anything arts and crafts-related. The infamous flowerpot painting of ’08 springs to mind.

New Year’s Eve was… different. What a great time for a club to have a powercut. The music in the main room cut out at 1am and didn't come back on until around 3am, but by that time the only people left in the club were the stupidly drunk and the embarrassingly desperate. I was still there.

It was good to see Peppa though. She looked absolutely gorgeous, better than she’s ever looked. For a moment, I wondered whether I made the right choice by not dating her, but I guess you need some sort of spark and we never had that. But it did lead me to realise that every girl I date gets substantially better looking when we stop seeing each other? That's not fair. I'm looking at you Sarah. What the fuck. Where did those breasts come from? 


So I’ve had some time to mull over my resolutions for 2012 and I think I’ve got a pretty good list coming along.

Stop smoking

I hate this because it is purely for financial reasons. I bloody love smoking and I shall miss my lovely little white cancer-sticks.

Pass my driving test

Because guys who drive are hotter than guys who walk.

Complete my Cert CII and TEFL courses

Get as qualified as possible before I pack up and leave town... just in case.

Learn the art of sealing the deal

The ongoing joke that I am unable to ‘seal the deal’; In short I get a girl home and get her into bed and for one reason or another do not have sex with them, be it overly-drunk, refusal to depart with virginity or wrong time of the month. This affectionately led me to inherit the nickname ‘Captain Cuddles’. So 2012 is the year I get the job done. 

Find a new haircut

Which will more than likely mean ‘Shave head in the hope I look more badass’.

Get out of the UK

Because everyone knows this country is going down the shitter and who doesn't love a chick with an accent.



That should do nicely for now. I may add more as the week goes on, but right now, I just can't take my mind off that god-awful smell in the kitchen. Filth. I hope you all had lovely New Years celebrations and the 50 or so photos you were tagged in the following morning were considerably better than mine. 'Photogenic' is not a word I would use to describe myself.


Much love, 
Luke