I just sat there and absorbed every single lyric.

I've been listening to sad songs all morning. It's not reflective of my mood, I actually find sad songs strangely uplifting. I think it's the fact that the words are generally heartfelt and relatable. I love hearing someone absolutely sing their heart out, and sometimes it's nice to belt out a power ballad and pretend you're caught in the middle of a life-changing revelation. When Adele - 21 came out, the first time I listened to it I was in my living room, I had the curtains drawn, the lights off and I was lying upside down on my sofa. I just sat there and absorbed every single lyric, every single note, that album deserves that. It's the reason 'My Immortal', 'Konstantine' and 'Swim' are three of my favourite songs to listen to. There's a time and place for bouncy pop music, but this morning, as I sit here gazing out of the tinted office windows with the shocking realisation that this is the twenty-third day I have worked in the last twenty-four, I am definitely in a musically moody phase. Which means it was an absolute delight when this song popped up on my iPod.

Actually nearly cried. Like when One Tree Hill ended.

So hopefully I'll be attending three gigs over the next couple of months. There's something about live music which just makes me grin like a Cheshire cat, I love to hear my favourite artists and be surrounded by like-minded people. Firstly, Lights is returning to London for a show at the Electric Ballroom, Camden in September, and having already seen her at the start of the year, the thought of seeing and hearing her belt out 'Banner' once again fills me with glee. Second, at the start of October I'll be going to see Aiden Grimshaw perform at Scala in London. For those who don't know who Mr Grimshaw is, he is an exceptionally talented guy who was controversially eliminated from the UK X Factor a few years back, early on in the competition despite being one of the favourites. His cover of Gary Jules' 'Mad World' is haunting and well worth checking out. Finally, I'll be returning to Scala to see Tyler Hilton, aka Chris freakin' Keller. His new album 'Forget the Storm' is a brilliant mix of country and rock and I love the guy.

But first things first, this weekend is Devon with Grace. She gets her results next week, and depending on her grades she's either going to Canterbury (40 minutes drive away) or Northampton (HOURS away). Naturally I'm praying for the former; I know she will be absolutely devastated if she has to go to Northampton. For the sake of our relationship and her sanity, she NEEDS these grades. This is the first girl I have fallen for since Annie. She's just brilliant, fun, sweet, sexy, she's everything I ever wanted in a girl, but a long-distance relationship is going to be very difficult, even for the strongest of couples. If she end up in Northampton, I know we'll do everything we can to make things work but it is going to be so so tough.

So for the next 8 days, I am going to enjoy every second I spend with her. University changes people, which unfortunately is a bitch because I don't want her to change.

Majorly craving a cigarette :/

Until next time...

Luke 

x

One

Today I am a happy bunny. I signed off my Sunday with arguably my favourite film, and then woke up this morning with a spring in my step. And ALOT of sweat. MY GOD. Today most of Britain was basking in roasting hot temperatures. I was between the doctors and the office. Grand.

I am now taking a very mild beta blocker for my anxiety, which hopefully should help relax me. One tablet a day. It's the weakest one they can give me, and I imagine it isn't far off a placebo, but I hope it helps. I refuse to be strongly medicated. I'm a Mitchell, we're made of strong stuff and I can beat this thing without walking around like a zombie for months. Anyhow, I feel good about the whole situation. I'm feeling good about myself and I'm optimistic.

One Tree Hill returned tonight. I specifically cleaned the living room and kitchen and timed my dinner and coffee perfectly. Decaf, of course. I can't watch my favourite shows without an immaculate living room. If I have any unordinary distractions in my line of sight, I can't concentrate. Sean's shoe horn had to be straightened. Who the hell uses a shoe horn anyway!? It was a great episode.

Pub Golf is on Saturday. If you're not aware of the concept of pub golf, it's our annual pub crawl with a twist. Participants brave/manly/stupid enough to tackle the challenge dress up in golf gear and complete a 9 or 18-hole course. Each 'hole' is a different pub or bar, and at each 'hole' you have a different drink which has it's own 'Par' - the expected number of sips it should take to finish the drink. If you can down the drink in less sips, then you are below par, and vice-versa. Here are the scorecards for this year's event.

I'm the reigning Pub Golf Champion. I completed the whole card with a perfect score (every drink in one) but that was last time. That was before Guinness and John Smith's were added. And I was in a state that night. With being on medication and still in recovery from Magaluf, I am tempted to take the ladies' card this year. We shall see. I'm just really not sure I can complete that men's card right now.

Anyway, to sign off tonight, I wanted to post a song. When I'm in a good mood, I am literally bouncing off the walls. Now, I don't shy away from the fact that I love all sorts of weird and wonderful music. One of my passions I'm well-known for in these parts is cheesy pop music. If S Club 7 comes on at a party, everyone looks around for me, because they just know I am going to be sprinting straight towards the dance floor and dropping some of the craziest shapes you will ever see. This song is one of my current happy songs. It's pure uplifting cheese, but it just gets me in a real summery, feel-good mood. And I love Kate Voegele. She's something special. Sure, I wouldn't listen to music like this if I had the guys round, or a girl for that matter, but on my own, in my own little world (or my own little blog!), this is foot-tapping cheesy goodness and I love it. I hope you listen to it and smile aswell.

Luke

Four

It's been a week since my last post. ALOT has changed. I'm talking huge life-changing revelations. Let me elaborate. 

I got my hair cut. I got a 4 on the top. SHORT. 

I bought some swim shorts. Little red ones. Like Baywatch. Primark. £3. I am a man of expensive taste. 

I bought a new American T-Shirt. I make that 4 now. Slightly obsessed..?

...

Yeah... I lied. No life-changing revelations. This is a good thing. I'm going to have more than enough change in 2012, so right now I want life to stay exactly the way it is for the remainder of 2011. 

I think my biggest achievement this past week was more of a realisation, although if anyone asks I like to describe it as an epiphany (because, you know, epiphany sounds WAY cooler). You see, when you're in love (like REALLY in love), that person brings out the best in you. However, I have realised that there is absolutely nothing stopping you from being that person without being in love. Sure, it may take some more effort, but you can be everything you want to be and be the best version of yourself without any need for help from a significant other. I like to think that right now, at this moment in time, minus the hovering ash cloud of doom, I am as happy as I have ever been, and I think I am the very best version of me. 

Are you the best version of yourself? I'd love to know. 

So, despite being absolutely chuffed to bits in general right now, there are a select few things that would complete me. Well, the big man up there isn't going to give me everything, is he!!? :)

I want the new season of One Tree Hill to start now. Right now. I'll boil the kettle. 

I want my skin to clear up. It's slowly clearing up. I want it to clear up quicker. 

I want Magaluf to be, like, tomorrow.

I want to watch 'Boys and Girls' again. I think I'll do that this weekend, it always makes me smile. 

I want Ella to knock on my door and come and give me a cuddle. 

Sue me, I love cuddles. I'm man enough to admit that. Yeah, I welled up watching the Notebook. There was a tear in my eye when Aeris died. I had butterflies when William and Kate got married. And my God I was devastated when I found out on Friday that 'Macho Man' Randy Savage tragically died. One of my childhood heroes, he was a true icon and a legend of the squared circle. Rest in peace, heaven needed a main-eventer like you, Savage. 

Luke

Optimism

It struck me today that my blog posts are never particularly positive. I wouldn't say they are overly negative, but I guess when things are going well, you don't have time to write about them. When things are not going so well, you feel like you could write for England.

I've always been a very positive person. People always see me as an optimist; they expect me to always walk into the office with a smile on my face and a tune in head. And I do. I've always got time for people and the glass is nearly always half full. So time for an overly positive post. I'm feeling good today. No. I'm feeling GREAT today. Lists are good.


Reasons Why I'm Chuffed

1. I just watched Cops. Hilarious.
2. In a year's time, I'll be leaving for Thailand. Beautiful, beautiful Thailand.
3. Liverpool BATTERED Fulham last night. Rampant. King Kenny makes me chuffed. 
4. I DEFINITELY have some serious cravings for some Ella. 
5. I DEFINITELY DO NOT have some serious cravings for some Annie. 
6. I am eating like a trojan horse, and I am gaining. Awesome.
7. 4 weeks until Magaluf. 4 weeks until glorious sunshine, great cocktails and gorgeous women. 
8. Aaron is back home and safe from Afghanistan. YES.
9. New season of One Tree Hill should be starting on E4 in the new few weeks.
10. I remembered I love Autumn Reeser.
11. I discovered Susan Coffey. 
12. I fell in love with Susan Coffey.
13. I realised that there are other people out there with unhealthy obsessions with One Tree Hill and The OC. 
14. I discovered All American Rejects - Another Heart Calls. And it makes me smile every time I hear it. 
15. And finally, I'm chuffed because life is fucking beautiful.

After my workout, I stood and looked out the loft window. The sun was setting and the skies were clear as anything, and it just made me realise that life is amazing. It was a kind of 'American Beauty' moment in essence; I realised how amazingly beautiful the world was and how lucky we all are to be living right here, right now, and to have health and happiness. Totally bloody cliche, I know. The point is, I love my life. Sure, alot of the time I'm ranting, but that's because I want my life to be even better, and I want to try and plug every single little gap in my life (Michael Scott - "That's what she said"). That's not to say I don't have a fantastic life right now.

I'm just greedy ;)

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Empty

That's what I'm running on.

Well, that and ALOT of caffeine.

I've just treated myself to a Tesco Value Cheese pizza, and Tesco Value garlic bread. Yes, treated. I also bought a pack of 10 menthol cigarettes. I know I gave up on New Years, but I've been smoking socially recently and I know I can go without cigarettes. But I want one. I'm doing my wonderful 11-hour shifts at work again this week, along with 8 hours on Saturday morning. So by the end of this week, I would have already worked 34 hours of double-time in April. I'm pretty sure I'm heading for some sort of psychological meltdown, at least that's what Ben says. I'm not, I'm just determined to get as much cash saved as possible. It's not like I have much else to do in the evenings! FIFA, Annie, and planning travelling.

I think I deserve a cigarette. Don't you? It's cheaper than a beer, so why is it less socially acceptable than a beer?

I was thinking today whether I actually have it in me to go travelling on my own. I think I have. But I know as it gets closer and closer I'll become more worried and restless. I'm thinking of this as challenging myself. I'm going out of my comfort zone, and I think if I can do this, I'll be better off because of it. I'm going to miss my parents and family loads though. I have the most awesome family in the world, and I'm going to be on the other side of the world, so it's going to be difficult, but I'm sure I'll make friends and get used to being on my own. I like to think I'm pretty independent and since the break-up, I've got used to keeping myself to myself. I'm not dating at all, I have no intention of dating. I'm quite happy on my own right now. Sex would be nice. Casual sex. In my experience, it's never just casual though. One person always wants more, which is a damn shame.

I've got it in me to do this. I know I have. I've got it in me to do anything.

A certain Lucas Scott once told me:

"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads; afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments will define us for the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested that you discover who you truly are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead."


I think I'll run with this :)




Luke