So last Friday, at around 3pm, I had what I believe was a Panic attack (or Anxiety attack, I'm still not sure if there is a difference). I couldn't breathe and I felt like I was going to pass out. I was sent home and spent the whole weekend gasping for air and struggling to catch my breath after the most basic of activities such as eating a large meal or speaking a long sentence. But, being a Mitchell, I soldiered on assuming things would just get better in a few days. But they didn't.
So I get home from work yesterday to find the whole block has no electricity. After the initial excitement of the potential of an impending Zombie Invasion, it became clear this powercut was not one of the cool kind, particularly when the pneumatic drill decided to wake me up every ten minutes at 3am. Then, at just before 5am, the street finally lit up. And then the shit really hit the fan. The burglar alarm had reset and starting going off. And I couldn't find the reset code. So after 5 minutes of one of the most horrificly peircing sounds I have ever heard, I decided to cut the wire.
Stay with me. There's more.
8am. I'm outside the Doctors to book an appointment.
9am. I'm in Tesco replacing the defrosted contents of my freezer. The entire freezer. Did I mention I'm on a real strict budget with saving for travelling?
10am. Doctor's appointment. She whips out that crazy stethoscope thing. Turns out I may have a heart murmur. I'm sent for an ECG and a blood test, with the view to having an ultrasound next week.
1pm. I'm at the hospital. The doctor nearly had to shave my chest because the little sensor pads wouldn't stay on. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT HAIRY!!
2pm. Back to the GP to give her my results.
And now I wait, which is probably the worst part. I want to know I'm alright. I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment with the holiday a little over a week away and my attendance looking less likely by the day. No gym, no protein shakes, no beer, no cigarettes, no caffeine, no work. Just me, at home, with 6 One Tree Hill Boxsets to keep me company.
Wait. Why am I complaining again? :D
I'm trying to work out why I had the panic attack on Friday. I've come to the conclusion that it was lots of different thing. Stress from working so much overtime. Stress from breaking up with Annie last year and dealing with her mess. Stress from saving every penny possible. From worrying about what I'm going to do with the house, the furniture. Physical stress from the gym and the strict diet of massive amounts of protein and as little fat as possible. And that's just scratching the surface. It's weird though, I actually felt happy. The last few weeks I've been in a glorious mood despite all of the above. Very odd.
I miss Ella. She is in Istanbul this week. I think I'm going to go and see her in September in Boston. I figure, free accommodation, free cooking and free beer is too good an offer to refuse, especially when I'll be sharing that bed, food and beer with the girl I DEFINITELY AM NOT INFATUATED WITH. Definitely not.
Alas, I sit here with my green tea watching Red Dwarf feeling sorry for myself. I need cheering up.
Luke
