“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

So, I noticed that the 28th of August was my 6-month anniversary of my first ever Blog post. Wow. I genuinely didn't think I would last this long (That's what she said!). This, if I am correct, is the part where I write about how much my life has changed over the last six months, right? Time to write about all the lessons I've learnt and how I've grown as a person? Hmmm...

6 months ago I was:

Disheartened by the whole dating scene,
Feeling like I'm in the midst of a mid-life crisis,
A complete Sop,
Feeling like I'm in limbo,
Saving religously,
Drinking like a fish,
Smoking like a chimney,
Listening to The Baseballs.

And now...?
Disheartened by the whole dating scene,
Feeling like I'm in the midst of a mid-life crisis,
A complete Sop....

Fuck.

But hey, you know what, life is good. No. Life is great. I've learnt many valuable lessons. I've learnt that spunking £300 on clothes to impress a girl is both exhilirating and therapeutic (abit like watching 'The Expendables'), even if she only ever sees you in a suit at the office. I've also learnt that, even if you're not sure a girl likes you, it's dead fun to get in over your head and suspend disbelief. It's about the journey, not the destination, right? RIGHT?!! Sod the inevitable disappointment; that's when I'll give my good friend Coors Light a call and see if he wants to hang out.

Wait, my phone's ringing...

I learnt that I can be pretty calm and collected, despite my head screaming to her "PLEEEEASSSEEE LOOOVVEEEE MMEEEEE!!!" in true Bruce Almighty style. Unfortunately, for you guys as readers, my mind tends to ejaculate all the bullshit that I build up all over this blog, so I appreciate you all for helping clean up the mess.

(Wow... did I really just write that...?)

This year I learnt that, no matter how hard I fight it, I will ALWAYS love the blondes. I see a group of girls and I make a bee-line for the blonde in the same way I would always plump for Cookie Dough over Phish Food or Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Like the lovely lady from last night. I don't care if she was mid-thirties, she had fantastic hair. I learnt that life is much more fun when wearing chinos and high-tops, and that wristbands are awesome, until you start giving them away to virgins on holiday to try and lure them into bed. So I've heard. From a friend. Of a friend.

But most importantly, I have learnt that no matter how confused, lost or disheartened you feel, there is nothing that cannot be solved with a crate of beer, a pack of 20 Richmond and a French girl named Florence.

I feel like I am living the teenage lifestyle I should have been living when I was 18. Instead, I was busy galavanting around Paris and paying off ludicrously overpriced engagement rings. I am the exhuberant, extrovert predator that I should have been back then. The chick-chasing, kiss-stealing, heart-breaking son of a gun.

Kind of.

Luke

August 26th was a Friday.

Today was a great day.

It's a three-day weekend. I have no overtime. I have very little housework to get through. I have a fridge full of Coors Light. I have 4 Menthol Cigarettes.

Or in the words of Paolo Nutini:

"I got food in my belly and a license for my telly and nothing's gonna bring me down!".

Here's a little update for you. Since January I've been saving religiously. I eat microwave meals and I drink whatever's on offer. I switched from Marlboro Menthol to Richmond Menthol, then to Stirling Menthol, then to nothing, just to save cash. In around 6 months I managed to save around £5k.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Bluewater. Bluewater is (I believe) the biggest shopping centre in the UK and is an hour drive from our town. And I plan on drawing out £300 and spunking it all. I'm finally going to lose my chino virginity (let's hope it's better than the time I lost my turtle-neck virginity) and I'm plan on purchasing a plethora of pristine (aliteration ftw!) tight white t-shirts and silly wristbands. I'm also going to pick up a pair of hightops. Then probably put them back down again. Maybe.

My justification behind this is threefold:

(1) I've worked so hard over the last 6 months and I have nothing to show for it. I had a bloody anxiety attack in the office and was signed off with stress for nearly two weeks. I've pushed myself harder than I ever thought I could and I deserve to treat myself.

(2) I'm in desperate need of some new clothes. If I go travelling next year, I'll be needing some new clobber. I go to Boston in 4 weeks and 5 days and I want to have shiny new clothes for the masses of photos we plan on taking.

(3) Emma LOVES the chinos.

Yep, I'm going to dip into my hard-earned savings and buy some new clothes because I want to impress a girl. HEY SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MUM!

So things with Emma and I are going well. She's texting and messaging me just as much as I am her (i.e. all evening) and she's been dropping a few hints here, a few compliments there. She really is a doll, she's incredibly easy to talk to and she is B.E.A.Utiful. My God she is tasty. The kind of smile you could gaze at all night and the kind of thighs you want to use as ear-muffs. She's away this weekend with her family so there's no chance of anything happening which is a shame, but I'm hoping next weekend could be the one. She's a busy girl, and I'm a busy guy, so there's no rush. HOWEVER, she has yet to see 500 Days of Summer, so a movie night is definitely needed soon so I can sort that girl out.

The truth is, I haven't felt this relaxed for a long time. I'm not thinking about travelling, or Annie, or Ella, or my diet or my anxiety. I'm just thinking about Emma, sleep and Glee Project. I can't believe Cameron walked! Literally screamed at my TV on Wednesday. I imagine us Brits are behind the US so no spoilers please!

Apart from Emma, everything else is pretty much stagnant. Work, play, work, play, work. C'est La Vie. My workout regime in now a 5-day split as opposed to a 3-day split, so although each workout is quicker and I'm feeling pretty pumped most of the time, I am finding myself absolutely exhausted day in day out. I do feel like I'm making some good gains and my fat levels are coming down, but the quest continues. I guess becoming a chiselled adonis is not as easy as I envisioned. One day, that Cam Gigandet physique will be mine. One day.

Oh and Sunday Martin and I are hitting the Ibiza foam party at Bliss. HUGE.

Today was a great day.

Luke

Awesome

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

Today has been a good day. Despite the weather, the sheer mountains of work and the realisation that I indeed need to grow my hair back to pre-Magaluf length, I have had a grand day.

Today, 'The Head and The Heart' announced they are playing in Boston on the 30th September, which is fantastic. I'm hoping Ella is a fan of melodic folky pop aswell, although I'm not optimistic. That girl listens to some strange music. I like to look at The Pierces, I don't like to listen to The Pierces.

I'm thinking of asking Martin if he wants to come travelling with me. He did express an interest, but I've always said it's something I need to do on my own. I wanted to 'find' myself so to speak, but I'm toying with the idea of letting him come along because, like me, he is desperate to leave here and he is my best friend. The only problem with this is that I have absolutely no intention of returning to Medway. My dream is to go travelling, find my happy place and stay there. Find work, find love, find a home. In my bedroom right now is a photo of my old 'happy place' - The Charles Bridge in Prague. This was the bridge that I proposed to Annie on and I look at it and remember how happy I was at that moment in time, and how nothing else mattered. Granted, people change and people grow apart and it's time I found a new 'happy place' because, right now, my 'happy place' is on the workout bench in the gym with Martin and a couple of dumbells. It's the only time I feel like I can relax and unwind.

There's no system availability in the office this weekend, which means I have 2 days off. And absolutely no plans. I feel like I have the world at my feet. And all I can think of is that the garden needs weeding and the damp in the loft needs clearing. Sometimes I wish I could live in squalor and not give a damn.

So anyway, tonight I have a sachet of butterscotch Angel Delight and freshly washed bed covers so I plan on sitting in front of the TV and doing absolutely nothing. Meatballs and Pasta followed by The OC and Angel Delight. Ahhh. Let it be noted that Wednesday the 20th of July 2011 has been a great day.

Luke

Cutie

Last night was absolutely perfect. Death Cab were stunning. I was blown away by how good they sounded live, and the atmosphere inside Brixton Academy was brilliant. To be surrounded by so many people with the same taste in music was surreal considering almost everyone I have spoken to since have never even heard of Death Cab for Cutie. They literally took my breath away and it was by far the best gig I have ever been to. 

Today was spent trying to keep my head up at work and trying to find someone else who knew who Death Cab were. It's 1900hrs and I still need to eat, but I have every intention of getting to bed by 2000hrs. I am exhausted. But just physically at the moment. Mentally, I feel good; I don't feel stressed or angsty (is that even a word?!) and I am relaxed. Probably the Beta Blockers, that. Tomorrow I'm up at stupid o'clock for 8 more hours of double-rate overtime and then a session in the gym. No rest for the wicked. 

Annie brought up an interesting point last night. She mentioned the engagement ring I bought her, which she still has in her safe. I have always said to her I don't want it back, I wanted her to keep it. You know, think of me in five or ten years time when her life is miserable and lonely and remember how good she had it. Yesterday, she said she was thinking of asking me if she could sell it, and split the cash 50/50 to put in our respective savings (she is leaving for Australia in December). It's a difficult situation. The ring itself is worth around £1200 retail value. I'm not sure how much we would get selling it, but I can't decide if I'm comfortable with selling it. A ring isn't just an expensive piece of jewellery; it's a memento in the same way a photo or a family heirloom is. I'm not sure you can put a price on that. 

Or is it? Maybe it is just an expensive piece of jewellery. Why keep it when Annie and I have very little emotional attachment? Perhaps it's just an unnecessary reminder of the past and how much has changed. 

Windows leading to the past

Think it's time I broke some glass

Get this history off my mind

You know, it's kinda cliché to say that music means the world to me. Everyone and their Nan seems to say this. But there's something about good music that helps you escape the stress and routine of everyday life. No matter how bad my mood is or how rough my day has been, a good song can change everything in an instant. Certain people can always put a smile on your face, but in the same respect, certain songs can do the same. Last night, not only did Death Cab melt my face and rock my world, but the supporting act also wowed me. That feeling when you discover a new artist and instantly fall in love with them is incredible and it happens all too rarely for my liking, but it happened last night. The band are called 'The Head and The Heart', and I instantly fell in love with their chirpy folky sounds. I also instantly fell in love with the blonde and her violin. As much as I would love to end on a Death Cab song, I think it's only fitting to end on this quirky beautiful little number. 

Luke

One

Today I am a happy bunny. I signed off my Sunday with arguably my favourite film, and then woke up this morning with a spring in my step. And ALOT of sweat. MY GOD. Today most of Britain was basking in roasting hot temperatures. I was between the doctors and the office. Grand.

I am now taking a very mild beta blocker for my anxiety, which hopefully should help relax me. One tablet a day. It's the weakest one they can give me, and I imagine it isn't far off a placebo, but I hope it helps. I refuse to be strongly medicated. I'm a Mitchell, we're made of strong stuff and I can beat this thing without walking around like a zombie for months. Anyhow, I feel good about the whole situation. I'm feeling good about myself and I'm optimistic.

One Tree Hill returned tonight. I specifically cleaned the living room and kitchen and timed my dinner and coffee perfectly. Decaf, of course. I can't watch my favourite shows without an immaculate living room. If I have any unordinary distractions in my line of sight, I can't concentrate. Sean's shoe horn had to be straightened. Who the hell uses a shoe horn anyway!? It was a great episode.

Pub Golf is on Saturday. If you're not aware of the concept of pub golf, it's our annual pub crawl with a twist. Participants brave/manly/stupid enough to tackle the challenge dress up in golf gear and complete a 9 or 18-hole course. Each 'hole' is a different pub or bar, and at each 'hole' you have a different drink which has it's own 'Par' - the expected number of sips it should take to finish the drink. If you can down the drink in less sips, then you are below par, and vice-versa. Here are the scorecards for this year's event.

I'm the reigning Pub Golf Champion. I completed the whole card with a perfect score (every drink in one) but that was last time. That was before Guinness and John Smith's were added. And I was in a state that night. With being on medication and still in recovery from Magaluf, I am tempted to take the ladies' card this year. We shall see. I'm just really not sure I can complete that men's card right now.

Anyway, to sign off tonight, I wanted to post a song. When I'm in a good mood, I am literally bouncing off the walls. Now, I don't shy away from the fact that I love all sorts of weird and wonderful music. One of my passions I'm well-known for in these parts is cheesy pop music. If S Club 7 comes on at a party, everyone looks around for me, because they just know I am going to be sprinting straight towards the dance floor and dropping some of the craziest shapes you will ever see. This song is one of my current happy songs. It's pure uplifting cheese, but it just gets me in a real summery, feel-good mood. And I love Kate Voegele. She's something special. Sure, I wouldn't listen to music like this if I had the guys round, or a girl for that matter, but on my own, in my own little world (or my own little blog!), this is foot-tapping cheesy goodness and I love it. I hope you listen to it and smile aswell.

Luke

Murmur

That's not even a nice word. If Doc is going to diagnose me with something, at least make it sound cool. Like Gastroenteritis, or Hypochondria. Murmur just sounds pathetic.

However, I am alive. And if my ECG and blood test results are anything to go by, I shouldn't be collapsing anytime soon, so I feel good. I still need to have an Ultrasound on my chest (I'm sure they called it something cooler than that at the Hospital but I can't for the life of me remember what it was) and I still need to take it easy, but I'm glad there's nothing wrong with my ticker. I don't know what I'd do without it.

So its Saturday afternoon and I've just worked my way through a mountain of celebratory cheesey beans on toast, and I am walking around the house trying to work out what I still need to get for Magaluf. I haven't had a workout for a week and a half and I still don't feel physically up to it, but I feel like I've lost definition and size already. Bad times. I always wonder whether women actually like muscles. Some women I've met love them, but a lot of women don't seem to care. I'd love to know what your opinions are, particularly my followers from across the pond. I picture all American college guys to be completely ripped jocks who play water polo. I might be wrong.

...

And it's now Sunday evening. At 23 years old, these hangovers are getting worse and worse. The 24-hour hangover is becoming a regular thing. What a fantastic night out though. And I hooked up with a gay girl, which I feel is quite an achievement. A UV bubble machine, my new Skechers and copious amounts of crazy green thick gloopy spirits make for one entertaining night. Good times all round.

Nova is back!!

Luke

Optimism

It struck me today that my blog posts are never particularly positive. I wouldn't say they are overly negative, but I guess when things are going well, you don't have time to write about them. When things are not going so well, you feel like you could write for England.

I've always been a very positive person. People always see me as an optimist; they expect me to always walk into the office with a smile on my face and a tune in head. And I do. I've always got time for people and the glass is nearly always half full. So time for an overly positive post. I'm feeling good today. No. I'm feeling GREAT today. Lists are good.


Reasons Why I'm Chuffed

1. I just watched Cops. Hilarious.
2. In a year's time, I'll be leaving for Thailand. Beautiful, beautiful Thailand.
3. Liverpool BATTERED Fulham last night. Rampant. King Kenny makes me chuffed. 
4. I DEFINITELY have some serious cravings for some Ella. 
5. I DEFINITELY DO NOT have some serious cravings for some Annie. 
6. I am eating like a trojan horse, and I am gaining. Awesome.
7. 4 weeks until Magaluf. 4 weeks until glorious sunshine, great cocktails and gorgeous women. 
8. Aaron is back home and safe from Afghanistan. YES.
9. New season of One Tree Hill should be starting on E4 in the new few weeks.
10. I remembered I love Autumn Reeser.
11. I discovered Susan Coffey. 
12. I fell in love with Susan Coffey.
13. I realised that there are other people out there with unhealthy obsessions with One Tree Hill and The OC. 
14. I discovered All American Rejects - Another Heart Calls. And it makes me smile every time I hear it. 
15. And finally, I'm chuffed because life is fucking beautiful.

After my workout, I stood and looked out the loft window. The sun was setting and the skies were clear as anything, and it just made me realise that life is amazing. It was a kind of 'American Beauty' moment in essence; I realised how amazingly beautiful the world was and how lucky we all are to be living right here, right now, and to have health and happiness. Totally bloody cliche, I know. The point is, I love my life. Sure, alot of the time I'm ranting, but that's because I want my life to be even better, and I want to try and plug every single little gap in my life (Michael Scott - "That's what she said"). That's not to say I don't have a fantastic life right now.

I'm just greedy ;)

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”