Day 5: A Song To Match Your Mood

Difficult. It's 20:00hrs, I've just cracked open my first Coors Light and I'm waiting for Martin to knock at any minute. I should be in the mood for a boogie. But my mood, well, listen for yourself...

So here I am with my thoughts of you
And this world I've left for me
Stoic faces when I think of you
And how I once believed
So now you call me, but you know I won't let you through I've myself to deceive

So leave the memories alone, I don't wnat to see
The way it is, as to how it used to be
Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing
And I'll hold you here in my memory

So I find me in your garden now
A sad smile for the scene
And all the flowers that we planted now
Taken by the weeds
But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me
The stand tall there in that summer breeze

(chorus)

You'll never change, you'll never change, you'll never change
You will never change 

To be honest, I think the lyrics are self-explanatory. Apart from the fact it is an absolutely stonkingly-great song by a great band, but it is also how I feel. I want to remember Annie. The old Annie. The Annie I fell in love with, and had 3 wonderful years with. Right now, I don't want to hear from her. She's changed alarmingly, both physically and emotionally. I had one of her old friends mention it to me yesterday, apparently it is very difficult holding a conversation with her now, and she seems very stuck up which is not how I want to remember her. A few people have mentioned this to me, and I'm secretly happy everytime I hear something like that. It makes me think the reason we stopped working was because she changed, I genuinely believe I am still the same person I was all those years ago, albeit with more hair and more direct-debits. 

She has tried getting in touch a few times, notably Valentines Day. But she fooled around with one of my good friends a month or so ago, and neither of them thought to tell me. I lost alot of respect for her then, and that's when I realised how much she had changed over the years. I needed to cut her out completely, and that's what I've done, and I feel better for it. Out of sight, out of mind. 

Anyhow, it's Saturday night, which means another night at The Workshop. I knew I would head out, so much for a quiet one. All it took was Sean to say in passing "Oh I think Martin is free tonight...". What can I say, I'm easily swayed with the promise of tequila and women.

Luke